I recently attended Quantum Leap, a four-day workshop through Excellence Northwest. This is the fourth in their series of self-improvement workshops aimed at helping us find our passion and live Big. During this workshop the facilitator, Peggy Merlin, talked about how we create patterns of decision-making early in our lives. She likened these patterns to the training wheels on a bicycle. And, as adults, some of our decision–making patterns serve us about as awkwardly as still using training wheels while trying to ride a Century. They get in our own way. We get in our own way. It made me think of a conversation I had with myself a few weeks ago. I was looking in the mirror at the 5 – 8 pounds I’ve gained in the past year. I had lost 13 pounds two years ago when I had breast cancer. Not because of the treatment, but because of the stress. I could eat anything I wanted and still lose weight because my adrenal glands were in hyper-drive. As I stood in front of the mirror a few weeks ago, loathing the extra pudge around my middle, I said to myself: Well, if I got cancer again, I’d probably lose this weight. Then I said to myself: That’s kind of sick to even think about. Then I said: Yea, I know, but it’s true. Whenever I go through hardship in life, I lose weight and have the body I like having.
So it’s kind of like, I can only have the body I like if I go through hell.
Well, if that’s my belief, then I’m kind of screwed. First of all, might I attract/create/seek out disaster when I’m feeling fat? Secondly, is that really the only way to lose weight?
I looked at this belief a little deeper and realized that another pattern of belief I hold is that life is a struggle. Which means I am always waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Which makes thinking positive kind of challenging. This realization was one of those Ah-Ha moments that should have come years ago, it is so obvious, but there it finally was, standing right in front of me as clear as the extra pounds on my hips.
Since I’ve had children, I’ve known how much fear has gripped my life. Fear has been like a noose around my neck as I stand on a teetering stool. I know that every moment holds the potential for disaster. I know where this fear comes from and now it’s time to take the training wheels off my proverbial bike, let it go and ride free.
So I am taking a stand. I am taking a stand and declaring that I can lose weight and be happy at the same time. I am taking a stand and expecting good things to happen.
What old beliefs do you live by as a matter of habit? What training wheels are getting in your way? What kind of stand can you make once you take off those training wheels and fly into your future?